Wednesday, February 17, 2010


Free at last. Was expecting and anticipating for this day to come since I was like hack care for alot of stuffs recently. Seriously felt a sense of relieve. Ironies. Why would I want to commit if commitment means to be tied down for the rest of the year? I'm glad it's finally the end now. Funny that I don't even feel the least bit sad or any tiny sense of reluctance. In fact, I'm happy. Great. At least for the past jobs, I feel a sense of attachment for the people there and the job. (Yeah, even in Nirvana which I merely temp for about a mth plus).
In fact, I actually miss the people and the environment (both in Fossil and Nirvana). Yes, the environment is actually abit funny over at Nirvana, but at least people are direct there and we don't have to be so fake etc. For Fossil, at least I enjoyed the company of the people there (even though they're mostly aunties and uncles there). At least I feel that I'm contributing something to the company. I actually miss Global Ariel too. It's so slack. I could surf net and had the whole office to myself when my boss was overseas. 爽。I was seriously dreading to go work in the morning today. The thought of just absenting myself today and the rest of the week actually crossed my mind! But I decided against it after thinking about the miss calls I'll receive and the interrogation I'd be put through.

New Year, new chapter, new beginning, literally. Hope that what's coming next would be much better. Gotta really ponder about my life! Seriously. I'm like a drifting wood now. I need direction! A purpose, a motivation, something more meaningful. If not, I think it'll end up the same way still. Give me a purpose in life!!!

At first, I thought that it'll be alright if I just ignore the purpose and focus on getting money first since I wanted to save up to study. I thought a year would be short, so I signed on. But thinking about it now, I think maybe that's not the right way since I really can't find any motivation to work and there's no meaning in my life at all! My life's miserable like that. Don't think I'd even be able to tolerate a year like that. Now, I'm even questioning why do I want to study?
Argghh... Seriously need to sort out my life and think about these stuffs thoroughly first before making any decisions. I can't live a life working just for the sake of money. That's just not my style. I won't have any motivations at all. So what to do? If I find a job I enjoy, I think the pay won't be high at all. So in the end I'll end up working and forever not having enough money to study. Hah. Then I'll be working for the rest of my life and not further my studies already. Awww. How sad. Or maybe in the midst of it, I'll decide that there's no point studying. Hmmm... I think that thought is overcoming me right now. Dead.

Think! That's the thing to do now. I'm glad I bought books recently that could help me sort out my life. Time to read, think and relax.... Life should be great.....

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